October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss
Awareness Month. I realize October has also come and gone, but I am choosing to
extend awareness for a month. I saw a
posting on a bereaved mother’s blog with a 31 day photo challenge for the
month. I hoped to take on the challenge
a few days into the month and play catch-up, but I couldn't bring myself to
write and I started to get intimidated by the list. I tend to have a difficult time
writing about Blake, or I should say about my grief….Blake is the easy
part. I love sharing things about
him. I thought this challenge would be
good for me. It might force me to open
up a bit and be venerable, something that doesn't come easy for me. I also thought completing this challenge in
November would be therapeutic as Reese turns 19 months old this month, the age
Blake was when he went to Heaven. I can
already feel the tension building and the horrible thoughts have started to
enter my brain…I usually can shake them off, but lately it’s been more challenging
as I know those horrible thoughts can become a horrible reality all too well. So here is to a month of Blake, a month of
reflecting, and a month of facing my fears…
Day 1: Sunrise
Ok so this obviously isn't a picture of
the sunrise. Apparently we are never outdoors that early because I don't have a single picture of the sunrise. It is, however, a picture of Blake cuddling
with Daddy one morning when the sun was in fact rising outside. Blake didn't snuggle often, in fact I’m not
sure Sam ever got another snuggle other than this one besides hugs of course. I remember bits and pieces of this morning…I know Blake had woke up early,
and Sam took it upon himself to get Blake out of bed as he did on a number of occasions attempting to let me sleep in. Once I
knew he was up, I had a hard time staying in bed because I didn't want to miss
out on the action and really I just needed to lay eyes on my boy. Something magical happens in the morning when you see your kids and wrap your arms around them. If you are like me, you spend your morning rushing around getting ready for work, thinking about your "to do" lists and it doesn't take long before you feel overwhelmed. The second you see you precious kids, nothing else matters except the smile on their face. Typically, Blake would want his Mama once he saw me
and Daddy time would be over. But on this
morning, he stayed put. He was content,
happy and warm snuggling in his Daddy’s arms!
I also love that they look like total twins in this picture!
No comments:
Post a Comment