Day 4- Treasured Item
Everything of Blake's is a treasured item so it's very hard to pick one thing, so I am choosing to pick things. Any and all of Blake's toys. Blake loved his toys. I've never seen a child be able to play with their toys for so long. We kept every single toy and to this day have only thrown away one because it broke. Sadly a number of his toys are not breaking. I guess these things aren't made for the long haul. Even though all the buttons don't work, and pieces are missing, Reese doesn't know any different. It has brought me more joy than i ever imagined it would to watch Reese enjoy the things Blake loved so much.
Day 5- Memorial
This is very difficult for me to admit, but I do not visit Blake's grave very often. It gives me more guilt than I can even express, but his grave is not a sacred place for me or a place of comfort because he is simply not there. I feel as though it is my duty as his mom to go and leave flowers to make it look alive and pretty versus run down with cobwebs like some of the ones you see that are a for sure sign no one has visited in quite some time. When I do go, I feel awful...I hate that going to his grave and touching his plaque is all I can do. It just doesn't feel right. I feel Blake's presence in a number of other places. Our home, our families homes, the beach, the golf course, the playground, the places Blake loved. To me that is his memorial because he is still around us everywhere. Someone we have never met sent us this stone after hearing about Blake's passing. It sits in the center of of yard and I love it. For me, I'd much rather look in our back yard and see this little memorial and think of my sweet boy...this is fitting for me, not a grave. This gives me a sense of peace that I have yet to find by visiting his graveside.
This is very difficult for me to admit, but I do not visit Blake's grave very often. It gives me more guilt than I can even express, but his grave is not a sacred place for me or a place of comfort because he is simply not there. I feel as though it is my duty as his mom to go and leave flowers to make it look alive and pretty versus run down with cobwebs like some of the ones you see that are a for sure sign no one has visited in quite some time. When I do go, I feel awful...I hate that going to his grave and touching his plaque is all I can do. It just doesn't feel right. I feel Blake's presence in a number of other places. Our home, our families homes, the beach, the golf course, the playground, the places Blake loved. To me that is his memorial because he is still around us everywhere. Someone we have never met sent us this stone after hearing about Blake's passing. It sits in the center of of yard and I love it. For me, I'd much rather look in our back yard and see this little memorial and think of my sweet boy...this is fitting for me, not a grave. This gives me a sense of peace that I have yet to find by visiting his graveside.
No comments:
Post a Comment